One of the reasons for starting this blog is to address issues surrounding mental health. For the last 12 months the world has been dealing with a pandemic that has curtailed our whole way of life. This naturally has taken an impact on everyone’s mental health.
Today I had a bit of a day off. A friend had her appointment with the Prefecture in Quimper to gain her Carte de Sejour, the French residency permit. Unlike the UK, at the moment we are allowed to meet up with friends from outside of our household, in groups of up to 6. So three of us went to Quimper. Going into a town feels as though we are doing something normal. Though seeing all the bars and cafes with their chairs and tables stacked up with tape on them to stop anyone using them is far from normal. I have had this conversation several times over the last few months but it remains true, if you had told us that this is what our lives would be like 12 months ago we would not have believed you. As we stood in the square outside the cathedral in Quimper I did admit that I’d had enough of covid now. I am hardly the first one to voice this but I think that whilst the disease has robbed many of their loved ones the long term mental health issues are only just beginning to emerge. I have two sons who live in the UK and I have not seen them since August. I was used to seeing them every few days or rarely less than once a week. Both my husband and I have elderly (don’t let them see I’ve said that) parents who we have not seen since last July.
The person whose appointment it was, lives alone. For her the lockdowns have been particularly hard going. She would go from one week to another seeing no-one other than when she went to the supermarket. Solitary confinement is usually reserved for prisoners who are unable to be with their fellow inmates due to poor behaviour. Human beings are naturally social animals. We live in groups and have social lives. Bars in the UK can be traced back to Roman taverns. Socialising outside of our homes with friends and neighbours is not a new phenomenon it is something that has occurred for centuries. The times that we are currently living in, are truly unprecedented. I am grateful that I don’t live alone and that I have the opportunities to meet with people. I do however hanker after sitting in a café with friends, drinking coffee and watching the world go by.
I am coping and hoping that with the vaccinations that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’d like to know: what you have particularly missed during the last 12 months? What are you looking forward to being able to do again?
And given I’d like to leave this on a positive note. I have finished the market bag! And have taken some photos in Quimper including of the cathedral and of some amusing mannequins!
Tales from the Sheshed France 
Bag is gorgeous Zenna!
Missed: children, grandchildren
On the issue of mental health and isolation there have been two massive impacts of lockdown this year. At the start of lockdown the first friend I ever made when I came to Plymouth was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. We have been friends for more than 40 years. I couldn’t visit because I didn’t want to risk taking an infection to her. Under the influence of very strong pain killers she phoned me asking why I hadn’t been to see her. I explained I didn’t want to harm her – she tearfully explained to me that I couldn’t catch cancer from her and it would be safe to visit. She was being cared for by her daughter (a nurse) who asked me not to visit and told me she would explain to my friend when she was a little more lucid. That was our last conversation – I couldn’t attend the funeral due to numbers
Later on in the year on the second lockdown, my closest friend Ann was taken into hospital (not Covid). I couldn’t visit. Although she was poorly there were no alarm bells and she was receiving treatment, we spoke on the phone often and when I had a hospital appointment she watched for me in the car park, phoned me and waved from her window. That was the last time I saw her. She died unexpectedly and suddenly.
These two loses of my closest living friends still seems unreal, painful and in effect have both seemed like ‘sudden deaths’ because of the denial of the right to human contact. I do take comfort in the knowledge that they both know I loved them and I know they both loved me That fact alone keeps my grief and mental health in bounds. 🙏🏽
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This is so sad to read Sue. I think I knew Ann had died but somehow I’d thought it had happened before covid. So awful to lose two such close friends. I think that being able to recognise that you and they knew that they were loved is incredible. Well done. I do hope that we will all be able to see friends and loved ones soon and that life will begin to begin in some way something that we recognise.
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The bag looks fantastic !!! It was definitely worth the extra time it took to complete it. I also love the colours and contrast between them.
In absolute honesty I haven’t missed much at all. I am fortunate that I have my family here and we are quite solitary as a normal disposition. After 15 years of living here permanently we are familiar with using Skype and messenger to chat every day with close friends. Even my elderly mother has become a Skype fiend and calls whenever she has something to say ! In honesty, I have not spoken so frequently to my mother since I left home at 19 and I have to admit that this whole situation has brought our usual distance relationship closer.
I have found myself busier with work due to the lockdown and my family have worked harder than usual with their education through this covid time. Being a home educator of three boys since birth has given us the chance to really spend every day together and this last year the children have developed new interests and planned their paths in life and higher education.
It’s been a time of reflection, taking stock of the real things that are important to me and making some big decisions about moving to Southern Ireland.
It’s true that we could never have known how fast and drastically our lives would change in one year but for me personally it has had many positives. I have spent time on personal development and caught up on things that life usually doesn’t allow time for. We have sought out new ways to do things and outside of the restrictions which for us haven’t made much difference , we have consolidated our needs and quest for simplicity in life. It has been an opportunity to listen to my inner self and look to the future in a different way. I love a simple life and really what I have missed most are outside events that involve music or culture. We have missed art galleries and museums as a family but we still have those to look forward to visiting again. They are still there, just sleeping, awaiting us to look on in awe when we can visit next.
Yippee for your friend and her residency card. Hopefully we too won’t be waiting much longer. ❤️ xx
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Thank you for taking the time to write this honest response. For an unknown reason it had gone to spam. I have now found it. I think that you are right that there have been benefits in that it has given people time to reflect. I think that I would have taken early retirement and come anyway but our lives changed so much last year, it was time to move to doing what we want to do rather than what we think we should be doing. Events are something that I look forward to as well. Good luck with your move to Southern Ireland. We will miss you xx
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